I miss teaching ...


I miss teaching ...

I last taught mid November 2016, I broke down mentally at lunchtime and then as I took my form's afternoon register and had to send a pupil for a colleague to take over. Two days later I resigned as I knew it was over.

Twenty eight years, 120 days and I am now NOT a teacher.

Teaching brought me and the family to move to the Isle of Purbeck in Dorset for which I shall be eternally grateful as it provided the impetus.

My new life - I work part time two days a week hiring boats out to the public for a local operator. I declared myself an artist based on feedback I have had over the last two years and have started to form my own art business - it's a long term project self funded by an old policy that wasn't going to mature anymore. I love my new life and the freedom I have.

But, I keep having dreams where I am in new schools, classrooms and I teach but it goes wrong, I am overwhelmed by systems etc. I awake distressed and like this morning I realise how much I miss that contact working with young people and sharing about my subject and various other subjects I find myself passing on.

I do not want to go back to the classroom as systems over the last ten years and the pressure of external hoops that kept moving gradually worked through my mental / emotional reserves. They are starting to recover but I still grieve for teaching.

I shall attend my last event linked to teaching and meet up with friends gained over the last five years online and at similar events at #pedagoohampshire‍17 where I can review how I put my plans into action over the last year where my learning curve has been steep.

If you have read this and still teach I wish you well, teaching needs longer term staff as well as the new youngsters, I am just sad that I had to stop earlier than expected.

Author Profile

Andy Knill

Andy Knill

Geographer, ex-teacher, blogger, artist and photographer, Mental Health, parent, friendly and supportive.

155 stories


Christine Couser Christine Couser @cacouser 4 months ago
Have you thought of exploring other ways you could work with young people?
Andy Knill Andy Knill @andyknill 4 months ago
@cacouser I volunteer with Juniors at sea rowing club. There may be more opportunities in the future.
Shirley Drummond Shirley Drummond @sdrummond 4 months ago
@andyknill such a heart rendering read. I truly hope that you can continue to share your love of teaching with youngsters in whatever form and when the time is right...clearly so much creativity still to give. Enjoy peadagoo Hampshire, still never made it but on my wish list!
Andy Knill Andy Knill @andyknill 4 months ago
Thanks @sdrummond as time elapses there may be more opportunities
Susan Baumgartner Susan Baumgartner @sbaumgartner94 3 months ago
I was "only" an assistant but I, too, left last November due to a crisis of management- definitely not because of the students- many of whom I still get misty-eyed over. It's quite unsettling not being a part of the prep this year. Here's to our future selves: whatever, wherever and however we turn out!
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